Lisa Shaw Ministries

Conflict Free Living

If you're alive then at some point you will experience conflict. Many of the emails I receive for prayer and support is related to some form of conflict in a relationship. I read Joyce Meyer's book: Confllict Free Living and decided to share my thoughts regarding conflict here.

This book is a re-write if you will of her book "Life without Strife" which I read a long time ago. I really enjoyed Conflict Free Living. I really recommend it for people who are experiencing strife in their lives and need encouragement for how to overcome.

In these times we see strife all around us put it's especially unfortunate that we see it in homes and family units. At some point we've all experienced strife in our lives and it can be very destructive if it's not addressed.

I believe there are degrees of conflict or perhaps I should say there are varying types of conflict. There is the conflict you can have with someone you love like your child or a sibling which can be very painful. There is the conflict you can have with a co-worker or your boss which at the very least is uncomfortable and nerve-racking. Some have conflict within a friendship or a group friendship where gossip and misunderstandings can take place. Conflict within your marriage which is probably one of the more painful forms of conflict because the marriage covenant is a very intimate relationship which leaves room for incredible vulnerability which then requires a sort of "fragile handle with care" attitude that is at times left out when strife comes in!

Then there is the conflict within a person. It doesn't have to involve another individual but perhaps a man or woman is at war within their soul (mind, will and emotion). This can be due to an past or present relationship, an abusive child hood that's gone unaddressed, the disease of an addiction, the torment of shame and guilt from a past sin. It can be any number of things that can create a conflict within the person which can manifests itself in several ways one of which is that you may see that person being very difficult to get along with. Perhaps they isolate themselves from people -- only dealing with people on a "as needed basis" but always sort of hiding behind their living room drapes peering out into LIFE as it passes them by being cautious about allowing themselves to engage with other people on a real intimate level.

Whatever the conflict, it's a source of confusion in a persons life and has to be addressed and I believe it must be addressed through Christ, in order for true change and resolution to come. Some of you may be experiencing strife within your relationships, on your job or in your church right now or perhaps your the person I described above who is in conflict deep within. Conflict is painful and can be very disruptive even destructive! We are Christians but it does not prevent us from facing conflict. The real question is how do we deal with it when we're faced with it and what can we do to avoid it as much as possible?

Here are two Scriptures to meditate on:

Ephesians 4:1-6 (AmP) I THEREFORE, the prisoner for the Lord, appeal to and beg you to walk (lead a life) worthy of the [divine] calling to which you have been called [with behavior that is a credit to the summons to God's service, 2Living as becomes you] with complete lowliness of mind (humility) and meekness (unselfishness, gentleness, mildness), with patience, bearing with one another and making allowances because you love one another. 3Be eager and strive earnestly to guard and keep the harmony and oneness of [and produced by] the Spirit in the binding power of peace. 4[There is] one body and one Spirit--just as there is also one hope [that belongs] to the calling you received-- 5[There is] one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6One God and Father of [us] all, Who is above all [Sovereign over all], pervading all and [living] in [us] all.

James 4:7-10 (AMP) 7So be subject to God. Resist the devil [stand firm against him], and he will flee from you. 8Come close to God and He will come close to you. [Recognize that you are] sinners, get your soiled hands clean; [realize that you have been disloyal] wavering individuals with divided interests, and purify your hearts [of your spiritual adultery]. 9[As you draw near to God] be deeply penitent and grieve, even weep [over your disloyalty]. Let your laughter be turned to grief and your mirth to dejection and heartfelt shame [for your sins]. 10Humble yourselves [feeling very insignificant] in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you [He will lift you up and make your lives significant].

Joyce said, "If we want to experience God's blessing and power, we must resist the devil's attempts to stir up strife". I believe one way is to submit ourselves daily to the LORD as James speaks about in the Scripture above and also through the power of the Holy Spirit live in harmony as Christians as we see in Ephesians above. Being willing to overlook small offenses. And also being able to tackle those difficult and hard issues that must be addressed and doing it with a heart of humility, fairness and respect; being willing to apologize at times when you don't feel wrong or accept sincere apologies and then letting the strife go.

Also, there are certain conflicts that could be avoided if we simply choose to be silent. We all know that saying, "pick your battles". There is validity to that. There are some things we need to walk away from and not stir it up although every fiber of the flesh says respond to that nasty email, call her/him on the phone and tell them a thing or two! You know that feeling of, their not going to get away with treating me like that!! Well some times we have to confront but there are often many times we need to be silent and PRAY! O, the power in that!! Praise the LORD! Help us Holy Spirit to do that MORE often then responding.

It took many years for me to learn in my marriage when to speak, when to be silent and when to pray! What to address and what to let go of! When I learned that lesson through the leading of the Holy Spirit I can not tell you how the 'little things' that once so annoyed me became so meaningless in the grand scheme of things!

Strife can block you from having a well balanced, nurturing and loving relationship with your spouse, children and friends. Strife can completely hinder your ministry or your ability to serve God and His people effectively. There are also many people in strife that are angry with GOD for their current situations not realizing that He is the very one they need to help them, heal them and make them whole.

This is what the enemy wants! He wants people in strife with one another and toward GOD! Is satan seemingly winning? Let's not let it be so.

One of the hardest things I think for people who are 'living in strife' to deal with is facing whatever contribution they are making to the conflict. It's easy to see our own perspective but not the other persons. If you're in strife right now I welcome and encourage you to examine yourself, pray and ask God to show you YOU. See if there is any way that you can help bring resolve to the matter. Unfortunately there are times when you can't bring any resolve to a stressful/strifeful situation and so you must "guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus" by perhaps avoiding dealing with a toxic personality and pray for that person with a genuine heart and let God do the work in their lives that's needed.

Many times people pray, "Lord change him/her" when the true prayer must be, "Lord change ME!" Another lesson both my husband and myself learned to do in order to have the well balanced marriage we have enjoyed in the last several years. As my husband used to say when a person points a finger out at someone there are three fingers pointing back. That's food for thought.

There is much I could say about Joyce's book but I want you to buy it or check it out at the library and read it and before you do, pray and ask God to show you whatever you need to learn, glean and absorb from this book. While it's a good read for all of us I highly recommend it for anyone that is dealing with any sort of conflict right now.

Heavenly Father, in Jesus precious name I pray for every person that is in strife within themselves or with other people. I pray for them to seek You for wisdom and guidance in their situations. I pray for them to step back and pause and pray for the people or person they are in conflict with regardless of how painful it may be. I pray for Your presence and power to take over in every situation and for each person to be open to obeying Your word and Your way for their lives. I pray for healing in marriages and parent-child relationships, sibling relationships and friendships. I pray for healing amongst members of the Body of Christ who are not in fellowship with one another right now. I pray for resolutions, forgiveness, reconciliation and restoration for all who are in strife and that You would receive all the glory from all of their lives and I ask this in Jesus Name and I thank You Father for caring so much about us that You would not allow us to remain in conflict without causing us to search our hearts and find peace in You. Help us to love as You love us. We love You Father in Jesus Name. Amen.

Site Mailing List Sign Guest Book View Guest Book

Site Powered By
ChurchSquare.com